im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
