im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
