OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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