he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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