his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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