There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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