Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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