Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
