i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
