Banned from zoo.
Again?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
