Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
