Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
