I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
