idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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