mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
