I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
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just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU