Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me

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  (212): that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me http://tfl.nu/xacv
  Replies (22) Good night (1263) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.

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  (216): i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers. http://tfl.nu/za5f
  Replies (37) Good night (2820) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?

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  (585): This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat? http://tfl.nu/3sn0
  Replies (93) Good night (1081) Bad night (3288)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

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  (401): Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends. http://tfl.nu/34is
  Replies (28) Good night (491) Bad night (3874)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.

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  (732): my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum. http://tfl.nu/6d6p
  Replies (37) Good night (725) Bad night (9081)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  zippers are such a cool invention

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  (201): zippers are such a cool invention http://tfl.nu/t5qh
  Replies (29) Good night (4732) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom

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  (574): Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom http://tfl.nu/tatf
  Replies (32) Good night (680) Bad night (3547)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight

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  (304): I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight http://tfl.nu/2lmk
  Replies (23) Good night (4641) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again

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  (906): It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again http://tfl.nu/8319
  Replies (22) Good night (2295) Bad night (5058)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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  (707): I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it. http://tfl.nu/727e
  Replies (26) Good night (1313) Bad night (4682)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it

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  (330): we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it http://tfl.nu/pd6c
  Replies (11) Good night (2163) Bad night (3035)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.

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  (416): juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning. http://tfl.nu/mbo9
  Replies (12) Good night (1634) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?

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  (804): I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT? http://tfl.nu/e21q
  Replies (9) Good night (1842) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?

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  (303): WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING? http://tfl.nu/q4gt
  Replies (8) Good night (397) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.

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  (+61): I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes. http://tfl.nu/bcwt
  Replies (3) Good night (283) Bad night (626)

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