Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd

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  (757): Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd http://tfl.nu/vlap
  Replies (6) Good night (904) Bad night (662)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.

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  (407): me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun. http://tfl.nu/sy2c
  Replies (41) Good night (4286) Bad night (1308)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?

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  (647): 47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over. (1-647): Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead? http://tfl.nu/n8gs
  Replies (57) Good night (1208) Bad night (5676)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.

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  (720): Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands. http://tfl.nu/3psd
  Replies (19) Good night (1446) Bad night (4407)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.

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  (641): is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink. http://tfl.nu/upl9
  Replies (29) Good night (4825) Bad night (1559)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again

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  (248): The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again http://tfl.nu/1sak
  Replies (15) Good night (1201) Bad night (4846)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night

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  (406): Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night http://tfl.nu/9n0e
  Replies (8) Good night (5368) Bad night (1171)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Im just a social blackout drinker.

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  (254): Im just a social blackout drinker. http://tfl.nu/yfwk
  Replies (6) Good night (3342) Bad night (1449)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something

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  (567): He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something http://tfl.nu/zff9
  Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (606)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.

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  (847): Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating. http://tfl.nu/al19
  Replies (10) Good night (2218) Bad night (588)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?

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  (312): When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad? http://tfl.nu/0o5n
  Replies (14) Good night (1518) Bad night (994)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us

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  (912): We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us http://tfl.nu/f6nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1093) Bad night (370)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.

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  (479): The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it. http://tfl.nu/6rje
  Replies (7) Good night (1220) Bad night (387)
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  (818): View more from California

  Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick

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  (818): Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick http://tfl.nu/tc3y
  Replies (0) Good night (804) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.

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  (979): The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB. http://tfl.nu/sezq
  Replies (1) Good night (940) Bad night (226)

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