My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep