Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
