That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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