I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
