hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
