What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
