his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
