we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
