just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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