Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
