dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
