i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
