my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
