I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
