Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
