What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
