shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
