how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
