Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize