please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize