and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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