can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
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She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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