thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
