My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
