we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
