As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
