Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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