I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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