i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
