youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
