the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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