i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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