i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
