1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize