You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
