i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
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We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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