the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
