Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
