Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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