Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
