I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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