well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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