I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
